Farewell to 50

Today is my last day of being 50.  You may remember that I welcomed the year with big aspirations.  My goal was to honor my first 50 years and lay the groundwork for the next.  Here's how it went....

I started with my hair, of course.  I've tried short cuts numerous times over the years but never been happy with the results.  I got it cropped in September, however, and this time it stuck.  I'm not sure if it's the actual cut or my middle-aged attitude, but I'm very comfortable with it.

To complement my new coif, I decided to work on my wardrobe.  I've never known how to dress myself or what clothes to buy.  I decided it was high time I learned.  I splurged and hired a wardrobe consultant to guide me.  She looked through all my clothes, put together a bunch of outfits, and took photos so I wouldn't forget them.  I now know what colors suit me (earth tones, thank goodness) and have just a soupcon of fashion sense.  (I wrote a whole post about this experience back in October and was never happy with it.  I may publish it now just for the heck of it.)

Looking good is great, but feeling good is even better. I've had chronic back pain since I injured myself in an aerobics class 18 years ago.  At first, it was intermittent, flaring up when I turned the wrong way and lasting a few days.  Then, it became more consistent.  I had an MRI and was diagnosed with some deteriorating discs and mild arthritis. I saw a chiropractor for a while and tried physical therapy a few years later, but nothing really helped.  That was ten years ago.

I decided it was time to have it checked out again, in hopes that there would be a new treatment to remedy my problems.  Another MRI and a visit to a sports clinic yielded no breakthrough.  The "good" news is that, as my arthritis progresses, the pain should actually lessen for a while, before it gets worse.  I started doing Pilates again in April, and it seems to be helping some.

Next up, work.  I left the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service in 2007, in anticipation of Sarah's arrival (as it turned out, I was about two-and-half years ahead of schedule).  I've done some contract work for the Service since then, but it's been sporadic.  I decided that, with Sarah now in school, I'm ready to start another career.

I met with a career coach in April, and she helped me envision my next chapter.  I've decided to pursue, as my LinkedIn profile now states, "a job that uses my excellent planning, communications, and organizational skills to support the mission of a nonprofit organization whose work aligns with my personal values."  Given my interest in social and political issues, the environment, and cultural diversity, I'm not limiting myself to wildlife.

So far, all I've accomplished is polishing my profile.  Once Sarah returns to school in the fall, I hope to dedicate much more time to researching local nonprofits and setting up informational interviews.  Networking doesn't come easily for an introvert like me, but it will be the key to finding a job that I find enjoyable and energizing, which are requirements for this stage of my life.

An unexpected opportunity popped up in the form of Sarah's Girl Scout Daisy troop.  When a flier came home announcing a start-up meeting, I offered to help, and, before I knew it, I was leading the troop.  It kept me busy throughout the winter and spring.  Sarah loves being a Daisy.  We had a wonderful group of girls and many involved moms.  I'm looking forward to next year, when I'll have some experience and a terrific co-leader.

I wrapped up the year by saying goodbye to my beloved '96 Volkswagen GTI.  It saw me through 18 years and numerous phases of life.  It moved with me from Colorado to Maine to Minnesota to Wisconsin and back home to Massachusetts.  It still had heart at 174,000 miles, but it was definitely showing its age.  I will miss its spunk, and the liberal bumper stickers it sported (the word "Earth" encircled by an oval, "Simplify," and "God Bless All Nations").

A 2013 Subaru Impreza has rolled in to take its place.  Although not quite as sassy, it resembles the GTI in color and style.  I'm enjoying its modern luxuries, such as hands-free phone and playing my iPod through the stereo.  Oh, yeah, and not having to rap the dash to get the speedometer and gas gauge to work.  The jury's out on whether it will make political statements.

The old and the new

Without a doubt, the highlight of my year was discovering a wonderful group of women called the "Trauma Mamas."  They are fellow moms raising children traumatized by adoption.

Although most people don't realize it, adoption, even under the best circumstances, is a traumatic experience. Children, even those being raised in a stable, loving home, can still struggle with emotions and behaviors rooted in their past.  Although I haven't shared much about it here and it's not apparent to anyone besides Don and me, Sarah is one of those kids.  Being among women who understand how challenging it can be to give her what she needs is like walking into Cheers.  They not only know my name but "get" my thoughts and emotions.  I am grateful beyond measure for my new friends.

The Trauma Mamas showing their creativity

As I expected, 50 wasn't half-bad.  So, bring on 51.  Maybe this will be the year I learn to meditate....